Fifty Shades of Grey, or Fifty Shades of Boredom

This must be one of the most hyped movies in recent history. People started debating and speculating even before the cast was finalized and the first scene was filmed. People vigorously discussed about every casting choice, and the last minute change of the actor who played the billionaire even made things hotter than ever.

When the first teaser trailer came up on YouTube, people flocked their and made it the most watched movie trailer in hope that some of the steamy scenes in the book would be featured there, and while it was not really the case, it did seem to show a promising movie. And the delay in release that made it coincidently fell right on Valentine’s Day. Everything seemed to be set for a blast and a huge success.

When the movie finally hit the cinemas worldwide, people rushed to buy tickets, and seats were filled up in incredible speed. Reviews started coming up online, but sadly the movie did not live up to the hype. It did not live up to the book either.

There are some steamy scenes, but in order to hit the mainstream, even the most daring uncut version was a huge tone down from the heat found in the book. The hype and expectation quickly became dissatisfaction and disappointment. Worse still, the tone down made the whole movie hard to follow and the character development crippling, resulting in characters that looked, felt and sounded out of place and out of tune with each other.

For Jamie Dornan, Christian Grey was hist first movie role, and the selection seemed to be the last resort after the other candidates either rejected the role due to various reasons, or even walked out last minute, no thanks to a schedule conflict excuse. To be fair to him, this was not an easy role, but his big break into Hollywoods may not do for him what was done for Daniel Radcliffe and Robert Pattison. He can hardly act, and his facial expression was stiff throughout the movie. There was no chemistry at all between his character and Ana, making the movie look like a sex for kind of sort, not a romantic love story.
It will be no surprise if we see him come back to his modeling career after the third film is over, unless he takes lots of acting classes, finds a great acting coach, and has a magical change in the last 2 installments.

The other candidates for the role. It seems that it was not very coveted after all.

For Dakota Johnson, the situation was slightly better. She had powerful parents who know the ways in Hollywoods, and she can act better, and she is very beautiful with her piercing blue eyes. And while she may benefit more from this movie to skyrocket her career, there is a chance that the role will haunt her for years to come and typecast her into similar roles, unless she can get out of it quickly, add more varieties and show that she is really more than just kissing and having sex in 50 different ways on the screen. Good luck to her, and hopefully she will make it, but I still feel that what this movie has done for her is only to make her name known to the public, not to make her portfolio more credible.

The rumored candidates to play Ana. I really any of them would seriously consider taking it up.

Lastly, let’s spare a few words for the plot. I’m sorry, but it really sucks. Big time. Those who have not read the book will have totally no clue what happened and why it happened that way, and those who have read it will feel disappointed, as what they see in the movie was very far behind the boiling heat of the book. It seemed the script writers bended backwards too much to fit the audience and category in order to bring the movie to as many as possible, and the artistic aspect of the film suffered. The characters were ill-developed, the scenes did not jell, and the main theme was hard to catch. The sex scenes fell out of place with the main plot, not helping at all to draw the complete picture. Towards the end, it was a draggy torture to watch and a lot of people must have waited for the credit so that they could get out of the cinema.
Maybe the same feeling was shared by E. L. James, so she requested to change the script writer to herself for the last 2 movies, apparently in a bid to save the whole thing to become a disaster beyond repair. I can understand her pain, having her best work flush down the sink artistically. That’s really hard to swallow.

As usual, more photos for your enjoyment.

One of the most cringe worthy scenes in the movie. It really sent chill down my spine. Too bad, there were not enough of them.

I even had not the faintest idea who she was and when she appeared on screen.

No chemistry at all…

Only awkwardness…

Mr. Grey will see you now…

Even when they were face to face at close interval, something was still missing…

We are not obsessed, either….

It’s undeniable that Dakota is really beautiful…

One of the rare feel-good scenes…

Another one…

Always a tough to handle situation

Piercing blue eyes

Room with a view

After the first time, totally spent and exhausted

Hungry for more…

 He has 6 packs, but who cares?

It’s really hot now, but too bad the hot cake cooled down too quickly

So, regardless of what I have said, if you still want to go watch it with your companion to kick start a romantic or wild night, go ahead, but be warned, and be prepared for a plan B in case this movie fails to raise the temperature to the level that you want to (you know what I mean, right?)